CHILDHOOD REVISITED: SCIACCA, 2005-DUNKIRK 1955
Since we are still under what I consider house arrest, I thought I would send some of the old pictures I have and an essay I wrote for a magazine (still to be published) about my feelings moving here and how similar things are to when I was a kid. This is long, so will be in several installments. Stay tuned!
Living in Sciacca, Sicily has brought back childhood memories and is in many ways like reliving my childhood experiences of growing up in the western New York town of Dunkirk in the 50s. I live in a foreign country where the sights, sounds, and tastes are surprisingly familiar to me. I hear the music and some of the old language I havent heard since I was a kid, and people look like me and have the same names and faces as friends and relatives that I remember from when I was growing up. These are just some of the many similarities between what my life was like as a child growing up in a large Sicilian-American family and what life is like where I live now. It is like being caught in a time warp in which everyone thinks and acts as they did when I was a kid. Only I have changed, for I am a modern American woman who has suddenly physically traded places (and bodies!) with my grandmothers. But little else of substance in Sicily seems to have changed, and the old customs that I grew up with form the basis of life here.
It is a strange disjunction for a 58 year-old woman as I keep getting flashbacks of what things WERE like by constantly recognizing so much of current Sicilian culture, remembering the close-knit circle of family and extended relatives that I grew up with. I say to myself so often, Oh, yeah, I remember that! Half forgotten words as well as foods and tastes are big triggers of memory, proving that early sensual impressions never really leave you. The first time I smelled the fruit from the fig tree in my backyard, before I even ate a fig, I was back in my grandmothers yard with my parents urging me to taste it. I even remember that first taste-it was identical to the taste of that fig in my Sicilian garden.
But there is also this: although I remember wistfully how things used to be in the US before so much progress wiped out simple joys like fresh figs, on the other hand I feel dismay that so much distance still has to be covered before things can progress here to meet current US standards. Life here is still primitive in some important areas, such as sanitation and environmental quality. But thinking of the big, impersonal structures in place in the USA today, from stores and schools to family life itself, I revel in the seemingly innocent pageantry of life here. And above all I enjoy re-living the joys of my childhood yet a second time.
Family and Church
The main source of entertainment and concern in 1950s USA was the family. We did not go to movies, beaches, playgrounds, or parks a lot, but we did go to christenings, first communions, confirmations, weddings, reunions, and family dinners. Through constant proximity, my best friends were my cousins. I was even a bridesmaid for cousins in three different weddings. My family still has a tradition shared by many other Italian families, to sit down to dinner at my octogenarian parents table for Sunday dinner each week.
Here in Sciacca, the closeness and importance of family ties are still MUCH stronger than the norm in the US today. Young boys accompany their dads and uncles on walks in the town piazza and teen age girls shop arm in arm with their moms. Extended families live in the same neighborhoods, often in the same apartment complexes. Elderly parents live with their sons and daughters. Whole families go for nightly passegiate (promenades) in the town piazza.
These strong family bonds are universal. And while the closeness of families has led to a traditional distrust of outsiders, people here display an open curiosity to strangers in their midst. Trust is always withheld until familiarity is established (this same skepticism is the basis for the cynicism Sicilians feel in their dealing with government, schools, and official agencies). This is not to say that we have been shunned by Sicilians. On the contrary, the warmth of the people who have adopted us as part of their families has been unmatched by anything I remember in the states. Anything, that is, outside of my mothers house, for she was very similar in her embrace of strangers. Family came first, but there was always room for expansion when new people were adopted.
Thinking again about American family relationships in the 50s, I remember a lot of gender stereotyping as I was growing up. I see this still reflected here in things like men riding together in the front seat of a car while the wives sit in back together, men being served at the table first, and grandma left home to cook while everyone else goes out for a walk. And when I was a kid, there were different codes of behavior for boys and girls; boys did things girls could not, showing everyone how brave and strong they are (tom-boys were a disgrace), and boys were not required to clean or do household chores. Nowadays in Sciacca (thankfully), I see that women have a strong decision making role in most families. Maybe they always did, but it was more behind the scenes.
Although Sicilian families are not as big as the families I remember when I was a kid, the ties that bind are much stronger than in the states now. Church weddings with huge receptions are a must, and are understood to be once-in-a-lifetime affairs. A couples financial future is set with the wedding, and thousands of dollars are spent on furnishings of new apartments or houses. It is common practice for couples to go deeply into debt early in their marriages after their parents have given them all that they have saved up for their childs wedding and new home. Separation and divorce are devastating financially, as well as crushing family ordeals, and so couples stay married no matter what. Domestic quarrels are not treated seriously because they are considered part of the family dynamic, especially when so many persons live so close together. I remember well these attitudes toward marriage from when I was young.
Close behind the importance of family is the importance of the Catholic religion in everyday life. As a child, I knew and associated only with Catholics, which was handy because I was taught anyone not Catholic would go to hell. It was easier to associate with people I would meet again in the afterlife!
Today in Sciacca, the religion of the state is always in evidence. The US controversies over school prayer and the Ten Commandments in public places are often in the news and are not understood here. As in the US of the 50s, more women attend church than men, and the degree of reverence of many Catholics is hard to tell at least in public. There are always nativity scenes in school Christmas pageants, crucifixes in each classroom and public office, saints days are announced on TV and on all calendars, and crossing oneself in front of churches and before meals is an unselfconscious act that is seen daily. Many church feast days are also public holidays with special public observances, often including the closing of public offices, schools, banks, etc. Each town has its own patron saints, both for protection and to honor in feast day festivals.
Living in Sciacca, Sicily has brought back childhood memories and is in many ways like reliving my childhood experiences of growing up in the western New York town of Dunkirk in the 50s. I live in a foreign country where the sights, sounds, and tastes are surprisingly familiar to me. I hear the music and some of the old language I havent heard since I was a kid, and people look like me and have the same names and faces as friends and relatives that I remember from when I was growing up. These are just some of the many similarities between what my life was like as a child growing up in a large Sicilian-American family and what life is like where I live now. It is like being caught in a time warp in which everyone thinks and acts as they did when I was a kid. Only I have changed, for I am a modern American woman who has suddenly physically traded places (and bodies!) with my grandmothers. But little else of substance in Sicily seems to have changed, and the old customs that I grew up with form the basis of life here.
It is a strange disjunction for a 58 year-old woman as I keep getting flashbacks of what things WERE like by constantly recognizing so much of current Sicilian culture, remembering the close-knit circle of family and extended relatives that I grew up with. I say to myself so often, Oh, yeah, I remember that! Half forgotten words as well as foods and tastes are big triggers of memory, proving that early sensual impressions never really leave you. The first time I smelled the fruit from the fig tree in my backyard, before I even ate a fig, I was back in my grandmothers yard with my parents urging me to taste it. I even remember that first taste-it was identical to the taste of that fig in my Sicilian garden.
But there is also this: although I remember wistfully how things used to be in the US before so much progress wiped out simple joys like fresh figs, on the other hand I feel dismay that so much distance still has to be covered before things can progress here to meet current US standards. Life here is still primitive in some important areas, such as sanitation and environmental quality. But thinking of the big, impersonal structures in place in the USA today, from stores and schools to family life itself, I revel in the seemingly innocent pageantry of life here. And above all I enjoy re-living the joys of my childhood yet a second time.
Family and Church
The main source of entertainment and concern in 1950s USA was the family. We did not go to movies, beaches, playgrounds, or parks a lot, but we did go to christenings, first communions, confirmations, weddings, reunions, and family dinners. Through constant proximity, my best friends were my cousins. I was even a bridesmaid for cousins in three different weddings. My family still has a tradition shared by many other Italian families, to sit down to dinner at my octogenarian parents table for Sunday dinner each week.
Here in Sciacca, the closeness and importance of family ties are still MUCH stronger than the norm in the US today. Young boys accompany their dads and uncles on walks in the town piazza and teen age girls shop arm in arm with their moms. Extended families live in the same neighborhoods, often in the same apartment complexes. Elderly parents live with their sons and daughters. Whole families go for nightly passegiate (promenades) in the town piazza.
These strong family bonds are universal. And while the closeness of families has led to a traditional distrust of outsiders, people here display an open curiosity to strangers in their midst. Trust is always withheld until familiarity is established (this same skepticism is the basis for the cynicism Sicilians feel in their dealing with government, schools, and official agencies). This is not to say that we have been shunned by Sicilians. On the contrary, the warmth of the people who have adopted us as part of their families has been unmatched by anything I remember in the states. Anything, that is, outside of my mothers house, for she was very similar in her embrace of strangers. Family came first, but there was always room for expansion when new people were adopted.
Thinking again about American family relationships in the 50s, I remember a lot of gender stereotyping as I was growing up. I see this still reflected here in things like men riding together in the front seat of a car while the wives sit in back together, men being served at the table first, and grandma left home to cook while everyone else goes out for a walk. And when I was a kid, there were different codes of behavior for boys and girls; boys did things girls could not, showing everyone how brave and strong they are (tom-boys were a disgrace), and boys were not required to clean or do household chores. Nowadays in Sciacca (thankfully), I see that women have a strong decision making role in most families. Maybe they always did, but it was more behind the scenes.
Although Sicilian families are not as big as the families I remember when I was a kid, the ties that bind are much stronger than in the states now. Church weddings with huge receptions are a must, and are understood to be once-in-a-lifetime affairs. A couples financial future is set with the wedding, and thousands of dollars are spent on furnishings of new apartments or houses. It is common practice for couples to go deeply into debt early in their marriages after their parents have given them all that they have saved up for their childs wedding and new home. Separation and divorce are devastating financially, as well as crushing family ordeals, and so couples stay married no matter what. Domestic quarrels are not treated seriously because they are considered part of the family dynamic, especially when so many persons live so close together. I remember well these attitudes toward marriage from when I was young.
Close behind the importance of family is the importance of the Catholic religion in everyday life. As a child, I knew and associated only with Catholics, which was handy because I was taught anyone not Catholic would go to hell. It was easier to associate with people I would meet again in the afterlife!
Today in Sciacca, the religion of the state is always in evidence. The US controversies over school prayer and the Ten Commandments in public places are often in the news and are not understood here. As in the US of the 50s, more women attend church than men, and the degree of reverence of many Catholics is hard to tell at least in public. There are always nativity scenes in school Christmas pageants, crucifixes in each classroom and public office, saints days are announced on TV and on all calendars, and crossing oneself in front of churches and before meals is an unselfconscious act that is seen daily. Many church feast days are also public holidays with special public observances, often including the closing of public offices, schools, banks, etc. Each town has its own patron saints, both for protection and to honor in feast day festivals.
posted by Sicilian Mama at 7:29 AM
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