IT FEELS WONDERFUL TO BE HOME

I am not sure how much foreign travel news and pictures you will get here because dear old Sciacca, Sicily is where I want to be just now. I am so happy to be here that I just don’t want to leave it after being away for over two months. Yesterday we picked up Lee 2 the canary from Paolo and Ignatzia and he seems happy to be back with us, though he has not sung much yet. I am slowly working my way through piles of papers and “junk” and will soon be organized enough to spend whole days at the beach without feeling guilty. The weather has been unbearably hot and humid, but we were working in our air conditioned living room. The loads of laundry dry in less than an hour in the furnace that is our backyard. Today we finally swam for hours and we felt like we grew fins, snorkeling and playing in the gentle waves of the Mediterranean.
All of our summer neighbors and friends here have come by and offered their condolences, and then they eye us to see how we have changed. I have heard it mentioned in almost every conversation and we ARE planning to work off the extra pounds we packed on in the states with all our take-out and restaurant eating. But how funny and how blatant the Italians are-they ask right away if you have gained or lost weight. Now that I am back in control again, it should be easy.
And speaking of control of our lives, we all require it to some extent, I think. Before I went to California right after my mom’s death, I could not concentrate enough to write even though I wanted so much to express my feelings and experiences with the family and our loss. But finally I was alone there one day and I sat down and wrote pages and pages concerning lack of control and my feelings of helplessness the many weeks that I was away, how it seemed that so many other forces controlled everything that was happening. I had some minor decision making ability but it was like an illusion because all the big things were all decided. It was very unpleasant for me and at times I became fearful that I would not be able to take much more of it, especially since I could not see a way out till I got home. I will not publish those pages of despair, but it did help me to write them down. It was almost the only writing I did all summer. I know from re-reading this writing that I learned how to be a bit more flexible and live for the day and not worry so much about the past and the future.
So a big plus is that I am finally over the problems I had with concentration on writing and reading. It was a struggle to even exist comfortably for several months, let alone be creative, but now that I am again “in charge” I am thinking and reading and writing easily. We brought back a lot of good books and I cannot wait to get into them. And I am also enjoying cooking and cleaning and organizing in my super comfortable home.
Our friend Josh from California who flew back with us will be traveling on further in Europe and we will gladly use our knowledge to help him plan the trip. We will also help Jon and Steph plan their November trip to Amsterdam, Berlin, and Sicily. Let everyone travel HERE for awhile and I will sit back content to be home at last.