ON BEING ALONE

This is the long weekend before Liberation day. Italians take this time to go out into the countryside and many will come to visit their condos for the first time since this fall. Suddenly we have all kinds of neighbors and people wandering around the place. Many come to check out whether they would like to buy one of the apartments for sale, or rent for a week in the summer. We will have people around all day tomorrow and Tuesday too as most do not have to return till Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.
It does take us awhile to get used to this. It’s a joke that as soon as a car enters our gates, Steve is outside looking to see who it is, in his unofficial role as watchdog to the peace of the place. Now cars are so frequent that he would be driven crazy doing that. It is not that we begrudge anyone coming to stay at their own condo, it is just that we are so used to being alone. And it is not that they always invade our space, but sometimes they really do. The little grand daughter of the old capo that lives on the street above us stood near the fence and stared at me while I worked yesterday. I tried to stare her down and then finally started to talk to her about the bird, that she seemed most curious about. The neighbors to the side know or are related to more people in Sciacca then we do even though they are from Palermo. And they all visit and stay for lunch. And talk and laugh and make a lot of racket together. Racket or not, it is noise that we are not used to in the months of fall and winter when we are the only people here.
I think I do worst then Steve in my inflexibility with this onslaught. After 34 years of having to be on a job on time and ready to give my all in the time I was there (and then having to do all the housework and childcare and all of the other things I just had to do), now I really enjoy doing what I want to do when I want to do it. But that is no longer possible when the place fills up. I may just want to nap or lay out in the sun to read or do marathon gardening. But I can’t because there is always someone who comes over to talk, or a lot of loud noise or distractions above or on the side from the neighbors. And we like these people. It’s just that we are forced to live next to them in a very un-American closeness. Did I mention the walls and floors in this complex were not built to be noise proof at all? Or that often night life here does not start till 10 Pm and then customarily goes into the wee hours?
Steve and I spend a lot of time together. But we still spend long periods alone, either reading or pursuing our separate purposes. When we have company, we enjoy it, but we also enjoy getting back to being alone again. And being able to choose if we want to be alone or not!